Reading Between the Lines: Kibbutz Ketura

       As mentioned by in my earlier posts, the Arava Institute for Environmental Science draws students from all across the world, which means nearly every interaction is loaded with different cultural norms, values, and ideas. The Institute's mandatory Peace and Environmental Leadership Seminar (PELS) is the ultimate boiling plate of cultural communicative differences, both verbal and nonverbal. In PELS we discuss the "hard" topics; things you would shy away from in most American conversations such as politics, genocide, war, and sex crimes. 

Before these seminars started, we were equipped with tools on how to communicate effectively with each other across cultures, most notably Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which focuses on listening fully before responding, and examining why others are saying what they are,  However, due to the trigger nature of these topics, often individuals' guards are dropped and emotions take over. Many times this reverts people to discussing/talking about issues in the way they do in their own culture, which can cause hurt feelings and hostilities to arise between different cultures. This ends up snowballing into a more heated argument with more cultural differences... and you can see how it spirals downwards from there. Further complicating the matter is that English, the language spoken at the Institute, is most student's second, third, even fourth language. This has led to many times a word, or phrase, being used in a context that did not correlate with the speaker's intentions, and upsetting or offending many in the process.

    Barna's wording of "...the tenacity with which someone will cling to just one meaning of a word or phrase in the new language regardless of connotation or context" immediately brought one specific PELS session to mind: the session on rape and sexual misconduct. With 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men having experienced sexual misconduct by the time they are 25 years of age, nearly everyone comes into this conversation with some anecdotal information, whether it be first hand or with regards to a person they know. Additionally, since this topic is one that hits close to home for so many, it quickly becomes emotion-filled and heated, no matter the company one is in. But in this instance, it became really, really intense. 

We had just broke into two groups-one entirely of men, and one made up of women. In the women's group, the facilitator (whose first language was not English) kept referring to women as 'making herself vulnerable' by walking alone at night, or drinking at a party. Quite a few native English speakers jumped on this, feeling that the facilitator was shaming the woman for her actions rather than condemning the actions of the perpetrator.  I don't believe this was the facilitator's intentions, but that was the connotation that came across with the word 'vulnerable'.  Later in the same discussion an ESL (English as a Second Language) student said that "women should get stronger to deal with it". This also set many English speakers off as 1) it made it sound as if women aren't strong to start with 2) it seemed to be excusing the perpetrator. Later in the discussion, it was found that the student meant it more as "a woman should have the ability to report the issue and have it handled", but in the heat of the moment, that was not what people were open to hearing. 

   I have also faced stumbling blocks in communication while here. Israeli culture is what many call "aggressive". Students are not afraid to tell a teacher he is wrong in the middle of class in front of everyone. In return, professors are not afraid to tell students to sit down and be quiet, or else be kicked out of class. In lines, people cut in front of you as if you are invisible. Asking for help with XYZ? You'll be told how ridiculous it is that you don't know how to do XYZ while they help you. I, not being an aggressive person, feel super out of place many times and revert to not saying anything. One of my professors actually TOLD me to be more pushy about getting things done. Additionally, people often comment on my generally happy and joyful disposition in a way that makes me feel like it's not common here; echoing what Barna wrote about 'smiling'. 

Though I'm learning to fit in a little better and not take these things so personally, I am completely suffering the fatigue component of culture shock. However, I am sure by the time these next 44 days are through, I will be over the fatigue and sad to leave this country for the States. Maybe I'll return even a little 'pushier' about things that need done like my professor suggested!