Intercultural Negotiations

     It has been seven years now that I have been learning the French language. It has been just as long that I have been studying the respective culture. Not too long ago I thought that life in France would never be that much different than life in the United States, despite the cultural differences I have written many papers about. However, when I arrived here in Angers, France about two weeks ago, I surprisingly went through a slight culture shock.

     One of the first things that I learned about in my French classes happened to be one of the first cultural differences I experienced in France. Specifically, the way close friends, and sometimes even acquaintances, greet each other is not by hugging or shaking hands, but by giving slight kisses on both cheeks of the other person. One of the important points brought up in Intercultural Communication is that culture is “not only maintained but often expressed through your communication” (58). I find this extremely true, given that the fact that hugging someone you know when you see them, as I am used to, is not necessarily always acceptable in other cultures and is in fact perceived in a very different manner.

     The first time I experienced this in France, it was as though I had forgotten everything I learned. An experience I think I will always remember was with one of the French students studying at the same university as I am. I ran into her in between classes and we had stopped to chat for a bit. After we were done conversing about the phone that she would sell me in order for me to keep in touch with others within France, we did our culturally respective goodbye gestures. I went in for a hug and I was awkwardly shoved away while receiving a kiss on both of my cheeks. As Hybels said, “both verbal and nonverbal messages are affected by intercultural communication” (63). Because of my culture, I felt it was normal to go in for a hug, but on the contrary, my new French friend felt it was more appropriate to give me the kissing gesture on my cheeks.  In France, this can be a symbol of a few different things, including friendship. For me this is the equivalence of hugging in my personal American culture.

Myself with a friend I made in Angers

     In Hybel’s Intercultural Communication, a quote from Maryam Qudrat Aseel is included, stating, “it was through the experience of living and being raised in the United States that I came to truly appreciate and understand my own religion, heritage, culture, and language” (61). This is something that I have already come to realize but instead as I experience life in France, as I have surprisingly come to already miss the ordinary physical contact that I received from friends and family on a daily basis. I have shaped and formed my own specific culture from living in the United States my entire life, but it took two weeks of living in France to realize and appreciate the differences in culture.





Hybels, Saundra, and Richard Weaver II. “Intercultural Communication.” Communicating Effectively. 10^th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2011. 62-97.