Lessons from Study Away

I interviewed two new friends of mine who both live in the same university residence hall with me. They are both international students who both from Malaysia and studied at James Cook University, Singapore.

From left to right,
me, Kai and Cindy

The first story is from Cindy, who studies Environmental Science here, at James Cook University (JCU) at first year student. As an international student, she initially struggled with English very much. Therefore, she claimed that my story on how I overcame the language barrier at the beginning, when we were getting to know each other, inspired her. Indeed, I remember when she asked me how I could speak English that well, I replied, "no, my English is worse than yours, and I used to struggle so much to understand the Americans. And I was so young at that time to really know what to do. So don't you worry about your English; be patient with yourself...and one day you won't recognize your struggle anymore." The most suitable reading which I could use to reinforce this lesson is from "Stumbling Blocks in Intercultural Communication." Barna (1994) states that language difference is a "danger" that "surprises no one" (p.340). She also believes that due to cultural differences, the language gap becomes larger. Indeed, I used to feel very lost at not being able to explain myself and my culture so that someone could understand the deeper meaning of my statements. Then, I started to change my identity and my communication styles a lot to fit my situation as a foreigner who lives abroad. Perhaps that is why Cindy saw those values and complimented me as "brave", "straight forward," as well as someone who knows how to protect herself.

To have an international friendship, understanding cultural difference is important
but understanding how to keep group harmony is even more essential.

The fact that I decided to change my identity connects to the second story, from Kai. He studies Marine Biology at first year student. Unlike Cindy, Kai spent most of his life in Singapore, and could speak English really well. However, we do have a big group of friends with a wide range of cultural diversity here at JCU. So each of us has a little bit of fear that cultural barriers could interrupt the group harmony. However, most of the time, we all could manage that ourselves. So Kai's story refers to multiple times when our friend group was about to have arguments due to different opinions. He felt appreciated that although I might "have different opinions from the group, I usually let it pass so that the team can be in good terms." Thanks to Kai's reflection about me, I found myself understanding well what Hybels, Saundra & Weaver II (2011) discuss: "Some groups create their own co-cultures to isolate themselves from others...to live and work in isolation and resolve to protect their heritage by maintaining all vestiges of their culture and not assimilating" (p.60). I was aware that with the large diversity in our group, where class members were from Singapore, Malaysia, Vietnam, Indonesia, America, China, Ski Lanka, India and Australia, we had to make a choice between isolating ourselves or keeping the harmony by giving others a little of one's own space. For me, the latter choice is the best way to have international friends, without being assimilated, because I could still have my own point of view and still choose to be understanding and become an easy friend. Indeed, my life experience allows me to find it easier to forget myself a bit for the sake of the whole group, that's why I was able to keep what Kai called "team spirit."

In short, cultural identity can be changed according to your lifetime experiences. My long-term study abroad journey has shaped my cultural identity so that I feel less inclined to stick to a national identity and am more likely instead to see myself as an international person. From a definite Asian or a definite Vietnamese identity, I now sometimes find myself being Vietnamese, at other times feeling very American, or I can adapt to whatever the cultural context may be. That's the way in which  I find myself fitting "everywhere" much easier. And that is my lesson from Study Away.

References:
Barna, L.M. “Stumbling Blocks in Intercultural Communication.” In Larry A. Samovar and R.E. Porter, Intercultural Communication: A Reader, 7th ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 337-346.

Hybels, Saundra, and Richard Weaver II. “Intercultural Communication.” Communicating Effectively. 10th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2011. 62-97.