Why Am I Here?

After reading through the article, I believe there is indeed something to be said about the discrepancy between the "rhetoric of international education" and what students experience while abroad. As far as a teachable moment which led me to that conclusion about the so-termed "productive discomfort", I'd have to say it involved my trip to Cordoba on April 11th. After a bit of a scheduling mishap whereby I missed the bus my program had arranged for our group, I had to, by myself, buy myself a train ticket there and was able to do that fairly quickly. The real fun began when I got to Cordoba.

When I got there, I charted out where I needed to be in order to rendezvous with my group. It turned out I could still meet them at the Mezquita or Mosque and I set out to do just that. After being told that it was just a simple walk straight across town, I set out. Without thinking to, or being too timid, to ask people for concrete directions, I found myself accidentally taking a wrong turn and ended up at the train station again from whence I set out again. After a long walk, it began to rain then pour and all the while I walked to the old quarter of the city. Once I reached this quarter, I found myself fed up with the rain and bought myself a red umbrella. For reasons I cannot fathom, I went to the main ticket station of the Mosque to buy a regular ticket only to learn I did not have enough euros on hand because I spent them on the umbrella. In a bizarre episode which lasted a good twenty minutes, I tried to peddle my umbrella to strangers sometimes using English or Spanish. Eventually I met up with my group who was able to get me a ticket to the Mosque anyway but I still felt I had learned something through the ordeal because people searching for things more important to them often are forced to go home without them. For my adventure, I got a few photos of the beautiful mosque and a new, red umbrella.

Due to this incident, I feel like I gained a taste of the sense of desperation one feels when one has limited options. I was soaking wet and afraid, I'd miss my group and get stuck in Codoba that I wanted nothing more than to sell back my umbrella and get a little cash back. Especially after this, I always looked at those on the streets, looking for handouts, with a more sad look because they have most likely learned more hardship than I ever will with my background as an American student. I gave what I could because every little bit helps but poverty does not go away so easily. With Cordoba in the back of my mind, I endeavored to learn to be fully prepared for things I have planned (which I took with me on my trip to Madrid but that's a story for another time) and to try to understand where others are coming from in the actions they take. In summation, I learned to take one day at a time here in Spain as something I should use to better understand myself which I feel I have done in some ways and in many ways, I'll always be uncomfortable with for I want myself to never feel entitled because so much has gone into providing the the things I have in life and I want to acknowledge all who helped me along the way.

I'd like to think the walk in the rain was worth it for this.