Since I've gotten to England there have been a fair amount
of miscommunications, both ones that I'm responsible for and ones born from
people here stereotyping Americans. Coming into the UK I wasn't actually
anticipating a ton of cultural differences, and most of the ones I was
expecting were related to things along the lines of politeness. However
since I've been here there have been a lot of moments where little cultural
differences have started to accumulate. I'm queer. I'm bisexual but I say
'queer' as it's more inclusive and more feels more true to how I feel. Speaking
to members of the LGBTQ+ community in America I've never had an issue telling
people I'm queer, it's a fairly common term and no one is particularly
surprised by it. So imagine my surprise when I told a girl here I was 'queer'
and she completely panicked telling me that that was a slur and extremely
offensive to members of the LGBTQ community. Although I had prepared myself to
deal with the larger UK community before I came I had completely neglected to
look into communities that I belonged to. As a result of my ignorance I risked
greatly offending people when I was only aiming to say something that would
have been completely acceptable in the United States. I did my research and
changed my terminology to suit where I am, but the initial shock of realizing I
couldn’t use the terms I was familiar with was an adjustment.
There’s still some confusion regarding general slang on both
ends as well. My flatmates will throw phrases like posh (I thought I knew what
that meant—I didn’t) and chav into conversations and there’s always a moment
where I have to adjust to what’s actually being said. Apparently there is a lot
of tension between the North and the South here. Most of it is friendly, none
of my Northern flatmates actually have an issue with the Southern ones minus
friendly banter, but when not referring to someone they know words like posh and
chav are far from flattering. Contributing to the confusion on my end is the
fact that I have a habit of referring to my friends by pet names (as long as I
have their permission to do so it isn’t uncommon for me to refer to someone as
honey, sweetie, babe, whatever), which isn’t done as much here. While it’s
common for people to use pet names at the checkout line, or in situations where
they don’t really know you, it isn’t as common between friends. One flatmate
recently told me that the first week I was here and I was referring to him as sweetie
he was a little off put by the random names. He assured me that know that he’s
used to it it’s fine but I hate that I was making him uncomfortable without
even knowing it. I’m used to people telling me if they don’t want me calling them
something (especially because I usually ask first) but because he didn’t want
to offend me he didn’t say anything. I’ve gotten used to triple checking that
my behavior is okay at this point.
Personally I’ve also felt like it’s hard to really get to
know people here like you can in America. I’ve gotten to know my flatmates and their
friends because I’m living with them and it’s common to talk to the people you’re
living with. In addition I drink with them and due to the huge drinking culture
here that is a sure-fire way to make friends. However, I haven’t really met
people outside of the people in our building. It simply isn’t as common for
people to hang out across distances, at least not in their first year. I don’t think
the more reserved nature of the country is something I’ll be able to fully
adjust to before I leave.
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